Do you think of yourself as judgemental?
Most of us are judgemental to a degree, and it’s pretty much impossible to be on this earth and not be judgemental!
We are judgemental because through most of our lives we are brought up being judged. This can be from parents, friends, teachers….. in fact the whole schooling system is built on judgement. As children we are judged if we are a good baby or a bad baby determined by how much we cry or sleep, it doesn’t mean we aren’t loved, we are just judged. Other people always have opinions of us by judging us. We judge people, even label them and put them into nice neat little boxes. We judge them before deciding if we want to talk to them, or be friends with them. Not always on a conscious level but it happens. Our schools systems put us through exams and our results are judged to see if we are deemed ‘clever’ enough. No wonder we spend most of our thoughts pondering if we are good enough, pretty enough, nice enough, clever enough, and yes we probably judge ourselves much more harshly than we judge others.
We are a judgemental species, we are surrounded by it in childhood making it virtually impossible to escape.
As we grow we may even begin to realise our self judgements are harsh (another judgement 😉 ) and start to look at positive thinking, but even this in itself is judging our thoughts to see if they are acceptable or not.
No wonder there are so many people pleasers in this world. People pleasing is an extreme version of caring what people think, it is acting in a particular way so that other people will judge us as being good. It’s our way of not escaping judgement but ensuring we are not judged negatively. Like a form of self protection.
I hope you are starting to see the picture here, it’s pretty much impossible to prevent making judgements, but perhaps it’s what we do with these judgements that is most important.
As an example if you judge someone to be clever or simple, you don’t have to treat them any differently. You can simply observe, let it go and carry on your conversation.
If we look at positive thinking, we can see here that we are making a judgement on our thoughts. Regardless of if it’s a ‘good’ thought or a ‘bad’ thought we can simply observe, let it go and carry on.
Feelings and emotions, these could be joy or grief, excitement or anger, it doesn’t matter observe, let it go and carry on.
If we observe but don’t let it go, perhaps we start to gossip or talk about someone we have judged, or over think our bad thoughts or emotions, or perhaps we try to suppress them, this ends up as over expression or suppression, it’s where we get caught up in it, it’s where we add fuel to the fire and make it bigger than it actually is.
Perhaps learning to let go of our judgements is the easiest way to release ourselves from the limitations of feeling judged, after all the only part we can control is how we react.
We can never escape judgement fully but we can reduce the impact of it.